No, I’m not talking about baby showers, golden showers or rain showers. I’m talking about real showers. Like, in a bathroom. Have you ever tried to do this with a newborn in your home? Just a newborn and you. Nobody else. Not even a faithful puppy. If so, then you know that it’s like a NASCAR pit stop combined with the tension of being an observer and not a driver. Will she get out before the baby wakes up? Who knows!!

Shortly after the birth of Peanut, my oldest boy, I realized that my well-being was now last on a very long list. This meant that I had greasy hair and tarantula eyelashes for a good portion of his first year. Hair in ponytail? Check. Fifteen layers of makeup? Double-check. Granny panties from the very bottom of your drawer because you don’t want to wear your “nice” underwear when you haven’t showered in 5 days? Sadly, triple-check.

Why is that, you ask? Well, Peanut had colic for FOUR MONTHS. This means that when he was quiet (read napping) in his swing, I was cooking, cleaning and stuffing my face with whatever would fill me until the next nap. If, by some miracle, I managed a shower, it was the aforementioned pit stop. I got in and, regardless of temperature, I lathered up and then got the hell out of there. On more than one occasion I had either forgotten to shave my legs or rinse the conditioner out of my hair. And let’s not begin tallying the number of times I used conditioner instead of shampoo in my haste to get out of there before the screeching started again. In case you’ve never done this before, it is the equivalent of putting diesel in your car instead of gasoline. Yes, it’s that bad. I can tell you that when you’re trying to battle the grease, that won’t help.

Then there were the showers I took when my husband was home. I’d hand the ever-screaming Peanut off to his freshly-arrived home Aba (father) and hightail it into the bathroom. This is when my life became an Herbal Essence commercial, complete with moaning. I’d shampoo my hair twice, deep condition, shave both legs- the whole leg; even in the winter – sing and dance to the music I’d brought in with me and make my neighbours curse me for using up all the hot water available to a 19 floor apartment building.

It. Was. Glorious.
Now, it wasn’t always this way. Sometimes Peanut joined me in the shower, sometimes he sat in his bouncer just outside of it, sometimes a willing sister-in-law was there to amuse him and, eventually, one day he was old enough to amuse himself in a pack n play while I showered. However, no shower was as magnificent as the ones I took when my husband was with him. There is something extra satisfying about not having to worry while you look after yourself. After all, to be able to look after others, you need to look after yourself every once in awhile too.

Of course, once GreenBean and then Boo arrived we were back at the beginning. Drivers, start your engines!!!!!! 🚦