When The Dad and I got married in 2010, we knew that kids were on our horizon. We figured that we’d have 3 and if a 4th showed up, that would be ok. Then we had Peanut. We thought that 1 was not the loneliest number… For us as parents, anyway. Prior to The ‘Nut‘s arrival, we led a rich social life without a care in the world except what movie was next up. We could drink without contemplating what time a child was going to wake us up or who was going to be responsible for said child while we stumbled around all inebriated.
Then? Peanut. Afterward? One parent got to drink and the other got to take care of the baby AND the toasty parent. One parent stayed with the baby and the other went with the couple friends to a movie. We’d switch off and occasionally ask The Saba & Savta to babysit. Those were fun times where we got to be unattached for a little while and let loose, either with friends or just with one another.
Then? GreenBean. Afterward? Drinking became something only The Dad got to do because GB was a huge fan of nursing; both literally and physically. He was a Chubba Bubba GreenBean! Baseball games and movies became something only up The Dad‘s alley and I stuck with seeing movie series with my bestest girlfriend (more like family, actually). We’d do dinner, Indigo, Old Navy and a movie (Twilight Saga – no judging, The Hunger Games, Divergent series, etc.).
Then? Boo. Afterward? Hahahahaha!!!!! Outings became bargaining chips and stressful events for the parent left at home. Even Shul was a bit difficult (The Dad has to be there every Shabbat), especially in the summer. Boo was a VERY new newborn when the nursery shut down for the summer. I was home alone for 2 months worth of Saturdays with a newborn, an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. Outings to the park were a logistical nightmare, tv was out and the doggy doodoo in the grassy area behind our building was like little landmines. Little, gross, poopy, oft-hidden landmines of parental horror.
So how do we keep up social appearances when there are 3 young children in tow? Shabbat is a great time to socialize; two meals and both meant for getting together with friends and family (and let’s face it, relaxing is so far out the window that it’s practically across the street). Birthdays are a time to gather, gorge yourselves on junk and share in the joy of another year. We don’t leave all the boys with their grandparents/aunts & uncles/our friends EVER. Not because we don’t like being away from all of them, but because we enjoy having them in our lives and don’t want to be excommunicated! We’ve each done a few late-night movies out with friends, but separately.
Another thing we’ve done is have friends over after Shabbat for movies, game nights, etc. It’s a chance for all of us to be together like we used to be and not have to pay for a babysitter. Because Lord knows we don’t have any money!! Hahaha! However, in Canada I recommend Scene Points for movies, Groupon and WagJag. If you need a date night and don’t want to pay full price, deals are the way to go!
So. How do YOU do Date Night?
2 thoughts on “Life as a Couple – with kids”
We are so desperately in need of a date night. It’s been years! Little and Big like to go everywhere with us. And seeing how fast they’re growing it’s hard to leave them behind. Where’s the balance? Oy
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Exactly! Babysitters are expensive and you never want to “burden” family and friends if it’s not an emergency, you know? Hopefully you get that date night soon!!!
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