Before I became The Mom I thought that I knew everything. While I never voiced those opinions (for the most part), I was confident that they were accurate and would lead me through motherhood like bunnies hopping through a meadow with unicorns lighting the way. 

Then came Peanut. 

I quickly discovered that motherhood was more like the Heffalumps and Woozles song from Winnie the Pooh. Heffalumps aren’t actually scary (hello Lumpy!), but they sure seem that way! 

So maybe I don’t know everything, but here are some things that I’ve learned:

Yoga Pants – not only are they super comfy, but the reason we moms wear them all the time is NOT just because they’re convenient. No, we wear them all the time because if our kids ever decide to cooperate long enough, we’re already dressed for our workout! Why waste precious minutes changing when we can just start immediately? 

 Coffee – I used to think that Starbucks moms were just an excuse to go spend $6 on a coffee to feel cool. How wrong was I!!!! Coffee is lifeblood, necessity, imperative to daily functioning! Starbucks cups are the signal to other moms that we are with them. Solidarity.  

 

Mall Walking – No longer just for seniors speed walking in tracksuits. Nope! You can walk with a friend or by yourself, but it’s a chance to get out, get some exercise, spend some money and get a coffee (see above). 

 Jogging Strollers – Running is actually really enjoyable. However, pushing a jogging stroller isn’t a way to show off or flaunt your healthy lifestyle. It’s a way to get out and do something beneficial to your health and have your kids take part. Having started running after GreenBean hit 6 months old, I can attest to the fact there is something very freeing about running whilst pushing a stroller and seeing the beauty of nature change daily. There are trees, birds, bugs and other people to teach your kids about. The fact that they usually pass out during the run doesn’t hurt either and I may or may not go running specifically for that reason some days… 

 
Massages – Overhearing moms talk about how they needed massages made me wonder why. I may have judged. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. They should hand you a perma-voucher for the spa when they hand you your baby. End of story.