2 slices bread of your choosing
1 tsp. margarine (dairy or pareve) or butter
Plug in toaster
Place bread in toaster
Choose level (usually between 1-9)
Depress the lever
When toast pops, carefully remove bread (lest you burn your delicate fingers)
Place onto a plate immediately
Using a knife, spread the butter or margarine evenly onto each slice of bread
Consume, chewing each bite 52 times.
Note: Don’t forget to unplug the toaster, wash your dishes and put the butter or margarine back into the fridge. You definitely don’t want to be hearing about your toast dishes for the rest of your life.
***This is strictly satire… unless you don’t know how to make toast. If that’s the case, then you’re welcome. And WOW.